By: Michael Youngblood, Co-founder & CEO, Unsettled.
Form, Storm, Then Transform: Group Dynamics at Unsettled Retreats.
On our recent trip, Unsettled: Baja, a participant—one of the quieter people I know, but someone who drops these incredible bombs of wisdom—shared with us a process for how group dynamics often unfold.
Having just wrapped up this retreat, I’ve been reflecting on the three phases that every group goes through: Form, Storm, and Transform*. These phases are universal, yet each Unsettled trip brings its own unique twists and lessons. Baja was no exception.
*Based on Bruce Tuckman’s framework Form, Storm, Norm, and Perform (FSNP) for how project teams develop.
Form: Building the Foundation
The “Form” phase is where every group’s story begins.
At Unsettled, we start this phase even before we arrive. We send out calendars and an experience guide with our philosophy and community principles. About 10 days before each trip, we host a live video chat to share some of Unsettled’s core principles, introduce the group, set expectations, and go over arrival logistics. If you’ve been on one of our trips, you know what I’m talking about.
These moments often bring excitement—or at least tentative smiles. There’s some nervous energy, but also a sense of curiosity: Who are these people, and what will we share over the next week?
When we arrive, we kick things off with an exercise that’s become a cornerstone of Unsettled retreats: speed friending. More than just a fun icebreaker, it’s a structured way to skip the small talk and dive straight into meaningful questions: What brought you here? What chapter of life are you entering?
We’ve hosted these exercises everywhere—from the shores of Tahiti to valleys in the Dolomites. By the end of the first evening, the group has a solid foundation.
Storm: Navigating Challenge
I draw from my sailing experience when I think of the next phase as the “Storm.”
At some point in a group journey—whether it’s a temporary work team or a kayaking adventure—differences surface. Everyone has their own goals, needs, pace, and communication styles, not to mention external factors that might arise.
On day two or three of our recent kayaking trip through Baja, Mexico, we were kayaking along the coastline through clear waters and wilderness, a perfect backdrop for adventure. But as the morning heat rose, a headwind picked up. Differences in pace, stamina, and kayaking experience became clear—some participants wanted to push farther and faster, while others grew frustrated by the pace or simply paddled in their own rhythm.
That evening, we had a debrief. We talked about the differences that emerged and how we are now a group that has to work together as a team to push through challenges like a 12-knot headwind. The forecast for the next day promised even more wind.
The “Storm” phase is a critical moment for a group to come together. Fractures, challenges, and differences are natural, especially in diverse groups spanning cultures and languages.
Facilitation is key here.
Our first step was inviting open discussion. People need time and space to share their perspectives. While a 12-knot headwind isn’t unusual on a sea kayaking trip, how people feel about it—their sense of safety, abilities, and the group dynamics unfolding in these moments (were they concerned about me, did they see I was having a hard time, did they see I crushed the day, etc.)—matters deeply.
Each person’s experience is unique. Some loved the challenge, while others felt discomfort. Opening the floor carries a risk, but in my experience, groups tend to respond with care and come back stronger. By allowing everyone to share, we build what I call group empathy—the ability to be aware of and listen to the overall needs of the entire group, in addition to those of individuals.
As a leader, I focus on listening, thanking participants for their input, and helping our group reset expectations, but my bigger goal was to create group empathy. We need to understand and reflect on individual’s needs and concerns and then put them together to understand our group as a whole.
Transform: Something Greater, Because of the Storm
The “Transform” phase is when the group becomes greater than the sum of its parts, and the Storm phase sets us up for this.
By our final full day in Baja, this shift was palpable. Challenges still arose, but the group’s experience of the “Storm” phase had fostered a greater sense of “togetherness”.
We were checking in on each other more, and much of the earlier tension had dissolved into laughter, vulnerability, and meaningful conversations. Serious check-ins continued, ensuring we stayed in tune with how everyone was feeling in our daily briefings, but it felt as though we had tough days before and were abel to communicate through them.
This transformation allowed us to focus outward—on the starry nights, inspirational life stories, sea turtles searching, the geology of the area, and, yes, the ever-present challenge of paddling into the wind. The group’s trust had grown, creating space for genuine connection and shared discovery.
Transformation doesn’t happen in spite of the storm; it happens because of it. The struggles—physical, emotional, or relational—set the stage for growth, making the rewards all the more profound.
Why It Matters
In Baja, as in all our retreats, we saw strangers become friends, tensions give way to trust, and individuals merge into a shared story. The “Form, Storm, and Transform” model applies everywhere—from polar expeditions to sea kayaking in Mexico (thankfully, we were in the latter, not the former).
This process is part of embracing the unknown.
Growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones—or, as I like to say, it doesn’t happen onshore. To grow, we must cast off from safe harbors, weather the storm, and return transformed.
Adventure on!
Unsettled is a global community for those who live and work differently.
Growth | Meaning | Adventure
