Feeling the Robotic Routine? Keyon’s Story of Quitting
Two weeks ago, we asked our community to share their stories about quitting with intention.
We were instantly moved and inspired by your personal stories of quitting the very thing that is preventing you from creating a space for more positive ways to contribute to the world.
Here is one of your stories…
By: Keyon Dabulamanzi Rich
This former chapter in my life was in a different zip code, 3 years ago, and included all the trimmings of middle class success. One child finally flew the nest and joined the navy, one graduating, and the last headed to middle school. It included a dog named Sebastien and a temperamental cat named Kitty. Our huge 3 story house on 1 acre, cars, a truck, a motorcycle, and a boat. I had worked hard at a 9-5 and running my own business, raising my family, and following the rules of societal suburban living. I even had all the recurring bills to show for my hard work. I smiled at my customers and tried to make it through the workday with minimal complaints. I tried hard to disregard the fact that I only received my position because the last guy had a heart attack at 53. That I was also doing the job of two people and wasn’t eating healthy and had somewhat of a drinking problem. I was coping by keeping my head down and waiting to accumulate more vacation days to escape. But underneath, deep within my soul. a storm was brewing.
I felt it but didn’t give it proper attention. I didn’t follow my health checkups advisory. I was stuck in a routine with no foreseeable way out. It became evident when my uniforms were all of a sudden 2 sizes too big and it hurt to smile. One of my coworkers pulled me aside with concerns of my health and literally cried over my disposition and encouraged me to seek professional help. He told me to let go of my pride and talk to someone. Others laughed and ridiculed me and made jokes of being on drugs. Then it happened, my first anxiety attack. I had talked others through it, but now it was finally happening to me. I had collapsed in the woods after taking a break riding my motorcycle, my mind was short circuiting and all I could think of was not being able to say goodbye to my family. After this event, it put me on the path of healing and self discovery.
The next morning I sat in my car at my job and my body refused to join in the robotic routine we had grown accustomed to. I spent the day in the park with my phone turned off. It felt so liberating. The same co-worker who pulled me aside checked up on me, and was instrumental in putting me in touch with my counselor, and getting the proper paperwork signed for my personal leave. This turned out to be a lifesaver and allowed me to be on paid leave for almost a year. What a blessing.
I never went back to that job and I took a break from my business. What a blissful time of nature and meditating, and using the tools given to control my mind and heal. It also gave me the clarity to focus on my truth of what I truly wanted in life. To communicate and realize my spouse and I were not on the same page and she wasn’t happy or fulfilled. We ended our 15 year marriage on good terms and good friends. I cleared away negative friends and energy stealing family members and plotted a course to fulfill my dreams. It did require me to let go of nearly everything I had accumulated. And I had to completely restart my life over from scratch. It has been a scary, bumpy, challenging ride and some traumatic events. But freedom is everything but free, it comes with a cost. Sacrifice, discipline, discernment, and knowing who you can allow in your space and trust to share your dreams with.
So here I am renewed and refreshed and building again from the truth of my heart and soul, ready to travel the world unhinged. Vlogging and making music and connecting with people and exploring cultures. I don’t know “the how” this will all happen, I just know I’m prepared for it now. I encourage everyone to follow your dreams, let go of the blocks and obstacles, naysayers, and just go for it. You might surprise yourself with a new perspective on life. Never give up and know you are worth it. Happy journeys.