I Heart Quitting: Ira’s Story
Four weeks ago, we asked our community to share their stories about quitting with intention.
We were instantly moved and inspired by your personal stories of quitting the very thing that is preventing you from creating a space for more positive ways to contribute to the world.
Here is one of your stories…
By: Ira Kovalchuk
I never wanted to own that scary version of me, the one who quits. The quitter. I judged and resented that girl, and ultimately lied to myself and others about why I quit most of the things I ever wanted to do or achieve. The eternal student, thirsty for knowledge and understanding of myself (my body, my mind, my heart), others, society, the world around me. I started countless projects, courses, diplomas and degrees because I was so interested in absorbing all the information I could. However I never ended up finishing anything, or seemingly applying what I had learned to anything useful. I just never seemed to have quite enough time or energy. I was full of excuses as to why I would move on to the next life plan!
What I didn’t ever quit was people, situations, and habits that were taking from me my precious time, my energy, and my life force. Those things, oh no I would never quit! It is honorable to stay and see those things through to the end. Otherwise, who are you? If not all things for all people.
I stayed in every job almost twice as long as I ever wanted to. Way beyond the point of enjoyment. I once devoted myself to a relationship that crushed my spirit and took me twice as long to get over than the relationship itself lasted. I maintained family ties for the sake of other people, or a friendship of almost 3 decades, because I believed I wouldn’t survive without them.
Hell, I didn’t even quit smoking.
The truth is, once I began quitting the need for approval by others, I began to notice my relationships strengthen with the people who love and appreciate my quirks unconditionally. Suddenly I had more time and energy to complete the things that mattered to me, the things that enrich my life, fill me with a sense of adventure, and inspire me most.
I quit work for two years, lost the approval of my best friend of 26 years, but gained peace of mind. I quit that friendship soon after, which hurt like hell at first, but then I found other friendships with people who understand what my heart desires (without judgement) and who bring ease and playfulness without conditions. I quit smoking! I even quit some family ties, because I started to learn how to separate myself from other people’s patterns and bad behaviour. I gained more freedom, space, and clarity.
Now I constantly look for my next quitting target, because I know that what comes through on the other side is more adventures, more LIFE!